Genocide Memories
by Bookworminyourstory
Summary: Even after finishing a Pacifist route, the events of the Genocide route haunt Frisk. They start having flashbacks, nightmares, and panic attacks. Only one person truly understands what's happening to Frisk, because they too have had their fair share of traumatizing resets. Funnily enough, the hero of this one is the person who one said "It's kill or be killed".


**Summary- Even after finishing a Pacifist route, the events of the Genocide route haunt Frisk. They start having flashbacks, nightmares, and panic attacks. Only one person truly understands what's happening to Frisk, because they too have had their fair share of traumatizing resets. Funnily enough, the hero of this one is the person who one said "It's kill or be killed".**

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Frisk had done it. A true reset. They didn't think it had been possible after total genocide, but Chara gave them a second chance. Fixing things with the underground and their friends was enough incentive for Frisk to trade their soul for a total reset. Frisk had felt close to tears of happiness when they saw Toriel alive once more and hugged her extra hard. It was tempting to just stay with Toriel forever in the Ruins, but Frisk had to fix everything. Every relationship they destroyed and every choice they ever made.

At first it didn't seem any different, it was just Frisk doing their best to help people and not hurt anyone. But soon a nagging feeling told them that maybe they should take a more violent route. Of course, this feeling came up whenever a battle was dragging on and impatience was lingering on edge of Frisk's emotions. Frisk always pushed this feeling away, reminding themselves that violence wasn't the answer and they were here to be peaceful, not to kill. Not to mention this feeling brought another... A feeling of emptiness deep inside Frisk that had once been filled with a determined soul.

But things were better after Frisk completed their pacifist route. It had been harder, but it was so much better than the nightmare of genocide the last run had brought. It made Frisk smile to see the happy monsters above the surface where they had always belonged. Toriel was kind enough to let Frisk stay with her and Frisk's new position as Ambassador to monsters kept them busy. They had no intention of ever resetting again. They wouldn't destroy this happy ending for everyone out of curiosity like they had when they first completed a pacifist route before turning to genocide.

But it didn't mean they were totally free from the events of the past.

The first sign that anything was wrong was when Frisk started having increasingly bad nightmares. Images of Toriel and all of Frisk's friends disappearing into dust. Of looking into a mirror and seeing someone- something- totally different from what they had been before. Of Asgore and plenty of others asking what kind of monster they were. Of holding a knife, the weight feeling comfortable in their hand. Of killing monsters and _liking it_.

Every time Frisk had one of these dreams, they'd wake up with either Toriel, Papyrus, or Sans standing over them. Each time they had to reassure the monsters it was nothing but a bad dream. Toriel would always ask if they were sure before kissing their forehead and telling them to try and get more rest. Papyrus would take out a book and insist on reading it to Frisk. Sans would just give them a searching look, crack a few bad puns, and leave or fall asleep next to Frisk.

Soon the dreams started keeping Frisk from sleeping. Toriel would bid them goodnight and Frisk would just stay up, laying in their bed and trying to think of anything but how _powerful_ they had felt with that knife in their hand. Frisk started taking to sleeping during school and meetings as ambassador. The lack of sleep was affecting how much they could get done and even Sans was concerned about how many surprise pass outs/naps Frisk started having. Frisk became irritable and prone to snapping at people and then apologizing profusely. ' _I didn't get much sleep_ ' became their go-to excuse for everything.

It was when Frisk started seeing red eyes in the mirror and dust on their hands that the panic attacks started. The first one was when Papyrus and Sans were playing with Frisk at the park in the middle of winter. They were playing hide-and-seek and Frisk was it. They had found Sans sleeping against a tree and decided to leave him be. They searched for Papyrus and eventually found him before their vision flickered. Suddenly, Papyrus was standing in front of them in a snowstorm. Frisk was watching as Papyrus' head slid off his neck and onto the ground before turning to dust. Frisk had screamed and stumbled back, falling back in the cold snow.

Their mind raced with sheer panic and adrenaline. Their hands felt numb and they didn't know if it was because of the snow or because they now didn't feel like theirs. Their heart was racing faster than one of Undyne's spears and they felt dizzy. Papyrus freaked out, coming over and Sans was woken up by Frisk's cry. Both skeletons didn't know what to do and when Frisk eventually calmed down enough to reassure them they were fine, Papyrus was on the verge of tears and Sans looked miserably helpless.

Frisk went two months without another panic attack, but the second one was worse than the first. Frisk was at a meeting and the creeping feeling of panic and flickering of their vision made them excuse themselves abruptly before running out. Toriel had found them half an hour later in the janitor's closet, with tear-stained cheeks and shivering violently.

Toriel had then offered to get Frisk consoling for whatever they were going through, but Frisk quickly denied. How were they supposed to explain that they were having panic attacks over killing all their friends and family before resetting the world to fix everything? They'd be locked up quicker than sparing a Molsmol. Toriel had given them a concerned look before saying that she wouldn't force Frisk to do anything they didn't want to.

Everyone tried helping Frisk, but the problem was that Frisk didn't think they needed help. All of this felt like a punishment for the Genocide route and Frisk told themselves that they deserved it. They kept having panic attacks, but they became better at hiding them.

It wasn't until yet another sleepless night that Frisk got any real help.

Frisk had been staring at the window, just looking out at the world in front of them when a dulled yellow spot appeared in the corner of their vision. They looked over and saw a familiar yellow-petaled face. It was Asri... Flowey. Frisk had immediately left their room to go outside and see what the flower was up to. They crept up behind the flower, who was staring up at the sky.

"Flowey?" Frisk asked quietly.

If flowers could jump, Flowey certainly did.

"Chara!" Flowey exclaimed, before clearing his throat, "I mean, Frisk. What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Frisk replied, looking at the flower is puzzlement, "Is everything okay?"

Flowey snorted and crossed his arms... leaves in indignation.

"None of your business." He spat.

Frisk didn't reply, but instead gave Flowey a look they hoped was concerned. Flowey stared at them before sighing.

"I was just... I wanted to see if mom- Toriel- was awake." He replied, "Obviously not."

Frisk nodded and sat down, leaning against the side of the house.

"Speaking of awake, what are you doing up?" Flowey asked, "Not that I care or anything, but you look tired."

Frisk didn't reply right away, just stared up at the sky.

"Well?" Flowey pressed in an annoyed tone.

"I couldn't sleep." Frisk replied, "Flowey, after your first Genocide run, did you start having... nightmares? Or any other problems?"

Flowey rolled his eyes.

"Of course not!" He snapped, "It didn't matter to me because I could just reset!"

"Oh." Frisk said quietly.

Flowey stared at them before clearing his throat.

"Ok, maybe I didn't feel all that good about it." He sighed, "Maybe I felt a bit more guilty than you'd think. But so what? I just reset and fixed it."

Frisk's chin trembled before they let out a short sob.

"What a crybaby!" Flowey snapped, "Stop that! Tears don't do anything except get your face wet!"

Frisk tried to keep quiet, but they continued to cry.

"Aw, geez." Flowey snapped, "Calm down! What's got you so worked up?"

"I-I killed them all!" Frisk cried, burying their face in their hands, "I t-tried to fix it, but I still remember k-killing them!"

Flowey was silent, taken aback a little before laughing.

"So you aren't such a goody-good after all!" He cackled, "I knew it! I-"

"I killed you!" Frisk said, interrupting him, "I'm sorry, Flowey..."

Not Flowey was really shocked.

"You... what?" Flowey said quietly, "You killed me?"

"I didn't mean to..." Frisk whispered, "I'm so sorry, I didn't know what I was doing. That's why I reset, I wanted everyone to live."

Flowey watched as Frisk sat there crying.

"Hey, I..." Flowey began, "You probably have been... anxious ever since that. I know I was. But... It'll be okay, Frisk."

"I'm sorry." Frisk mumbled, "I'm sorry."

"I know." Flowey replied, "I know, Frisk. But you did the right thing. Everyone is happy now. Mom and dad. Papyrus and his idiot brother. Everyone is free because you fixed your mistakes. That's more than I ever did, though I wish I had done what you did."

Frisk looked at him, wiping away their tears.

"Do you mean that?" They asked.

Flowey nodded and Frisk laughed shortly before hugging the flower they best they could.

"Thank you." Frisk said.

Flowey rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, whatever." He spat, "Get off me, human."

Frisk let go and Flowey looked them up and down.

"Go get sleep, Frisk." Flowey added, "You need it."

Frisk nodded and bid Flowey goodnight before going back inside.

The months following that encounter, Frisk started getting better. They started sleeping more peacefully and the panic attacks started happening less and less. Nobody but Frisk and Flowey knew why Frisk was starting to get better. A few suspected that they were getting help from someone, like Sans and Toriel. Others just were glad the human was getting better, like Papyrus and most other monsters.

Frisk and Flowey's last meeting outside was the night of the first snow of the year. Frisk went out to meet Flowey and found the flower shivering the snow.

"Flowey!" Frisk exclaimed.

Flowey looked up with a smile.

"H-Hey, Frisk." He replied, shivering.

"Stay there, I'll be back." Frisk said quickly.

They came back out with a trowel and a pot. They dug up some dirt from the frozen ground and quickly moved Flowey into the pot.

"F-Frisk!" Flowey exclaimed, "W-What are you doing?!"

"Saving you." Frisk replied, feeling filled with determination.

They carried Flowey inside and the next morning explained to Toriel what had happened. Toriel seemed fine with having Flowey live with them through the winter. Sans was apprehensive, but agreed to make Frisk happy. Papyrus was delighted to have a new friend.

Flowey ended up staying with them past the Winter and Frisk certainly didn't protest. A lot of things still remained unresolved and Frisk knew they'd probably have another panic attack sometime, but now they had Flowey. They had someone who understood. And yeah, Flowey had some problems of his own, but they helped each other out. Flowey kept Frisk grounded and Frisk defended Flowey and gave them friendship, showing them that Flowey still had a lot to experience in the world.

And although it wasn't perfect, Frisk couldn't ask for a better run.

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 **A/N- I apologize for the crap ending. But It is a oneshot. So in this Flowey and Frisk start bonding! Yeah... I just really wanted to write out a story that was kinda what happened after a genocide run! So this is my take on it! Originally, I was going to have Sans helping Frisk out but then I decided that someone who knew a lot more after resets was better qualified! And who knows the most about resets and consequences? Why! Flowey the flower of course!**

 **The panic attack portrayal scene are some of my own experiences with panic attacks and how it affects me. So before you go and rampage about how unrealistic it is, please take that into consideration. Some people's experiences are different than others and they're all bad.**

 **I also apologize for my mediocre portrayal of Flowey, I haven't written much of him at all.**

 **What was that? Why so little dialogue between multiple characters? Because I really just wanted to show how much the Genocide route affected Frisk more than how it affected others.**

 **Anyways! I hope you enjoyed and be sure to follow, favorite, and leave a review! Let me know if you'd like another oneshot sometime!**

 **Stay determined!**

 **Bookworminyourstory**


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